Expedia = Redeemed.
I'm still not exactly sure what happened, but Expedia contacted me today notifying me that my tickets to Salt Lake City, Utah are confirmed... three days after they emailed me telling me that they were no longer mine... seven days after I ordered the damn things in the first place! Weird. So now I can sit back, relax, clutch onto my itinerary that I printed off (which apparently confirms that I can go), and wait for the 16th because MY ASS IS OFFICIALLY GOING TO SUNDANCE!
God bless the internatz.